Joining the controversy of Rhianna (escorted out in 2013) and Selena Gomez (is that ankle I see?)

The Dubai Mall with on-site hotel and Burj Kahlifa in background.

M—Malls
 
       I’ve never been much of a shopper. Ok, I’ve never been a shopper, period. The mere thought of entering a mall would immediately render me the most tired human on the planet. And along about 23 minutes into the shopping excursion, I would break out in hives. Literally (and I hate that word) break out in hives.
       However, living in Dubai was a whole different experience in shopping. Between the Dubai Mall and the Mall of the Emirates, my whole idea of shopping changed. My friends back in the States could not believe that I would spend 8, 9, 10 hours at the “mall”.
      It helped that I made enough money there that I didn’t have to constantly check my budget before buying something. But beyond that, the malls were more like amusement parks. The Dubai Mall is connected to the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world. It also boasts the water fountain show that is bigger and more brilliant than the one at the Bellagio in Vegas. You can book a room and stay overnight at the resident hotel. There is also an ice skating rink, aquarium and underwater zoo with the world’s largest viewing panel, and SEGA World with amusement-park rides and games. And during EID you can visit the mall any time as shops are open 24 hours a day; it’s an Emirate pajama party!
      The Mall of the Emirates is slightly smaller, but still houses the amazing: a community theater, Magic Planet entertainment center, and my personal favorite—the indoor snow skiing pavilion! It is pretty crazy that in one day I went out to the cable park and water skied in the morning and went to the mall and snow skied in the afternoon!

      There is also shopping at both malls. And it doesn’t matter if your budget is Hermes or Forever 21. They have stores for every level of shopping. There are also constant entertainers roaming around displaying a cultural costume or performing a cultural dance. Or you can just go to the Spa for some pampering.
      All of these things were beyond my imagination. But there was one thing that really intrigued me: the social aspect of the mall. On any given Friday night, these places are packed. Sometimes, it would take 30+ minutes to find a parking spot. And they are not short of parking garages; they are just packed. A sea of white kunderas and black abayas saunter in and out of stores and congregate together. Women are decked out in their finest; you can see their dresses and designer jeans poking out from their abayas. And the shoes are to die for. I heard that is how the girls tell the boys they like how to recognize them amidst all the other abayas; the shoes!
Teenagers hang out laughing and carrying on and families stroll hand in hand. It is a beautiful thing to see the Arabic man and his little girl spending time together. The way he lifts her to look into her big, brown eyes as she tells him something and the way he really listens to her and freezes the moment between the two of them. It is rare to not see a father holding his little girl’s hand.  
And it all makes sense; this is their social life. They don’t go to bars. They don’t go to clubs. They don’t hang out at concerts or shows. They don’t drink or smoke marijuana. They go the malls and hang out with their families in a good, wholesome, clean environment.
And I thought malls were just for shopping!

Mall of the Emirates

Paraguayan lomitos: Marinated pounded sirloin steak, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, a runny egg, garlic creamy spread, in between the softest freshest bread. Words don't do these justice. Pictures don't do these justice. The only thing better is when someone at the table announces they're getting seconds and then it's ok for you to also!

Oh, and they're served from a bus or outside vendor stand! At 3:00 am, expect the lines to be long. But they're worth the wait.

           While living in Asuncion, we decided to get a puppy. I wanted a Labrador and Mark wanted a German Shepherd. So we compromised and got a German Shepherd.
            Buying a dog in Paraguay is tough. Well, buying a dog that isn’t inbred is tough. The pet stores are filled with dopey-eyed puppies. They are cute; there just isn’t much going on upstairs.
            We found a legitimate bred German Shepherd through a student. His father doesn’t do anything half-heartedly, so when he decided to breed he did his research and got the best female he could find in Switzerland and the male came from a heritage line in Chile. We got the runt of this litter. But we could see immediately in her eyes, she was intelligent.
            We spent a few days trying to come up with a name for her. I came up with some really clever names like Perra and Princess. But Mark came up with Luque.  Pronounced Lou-kay. So, again, we compromised and named her Luque.
            It’s actually a really cool name because it is a city just outside of Asuncion and we figured going back to the States it would be unique to the fact that we got her in Paraguay. The only bad part is when we lived there, it was really embarrassing to tell a Paraguayan her name because they would look at us quizzically as if we were stupid. I guess it would be like if we met someone in the States and asked their dog’s name and they said something like: Compton.  We would be like why would you name your dog after a run-down socio-economic challenged city? Which was Luque.
              But we had some complications with Luque; the dog, not the city.
            Luckily, we found a great vet. Sometimes finding someone great was based on the sole fact that they could speak English. However, it was because of this vet that Luque is still alive today.
           When we took her in to get fixed, we told him that she had been having trouble the prior week; slow to get up, limping, whimpering when we touched her. I thought it was because we had just moved into a house with lots of tile and she had been sliding around chasing her ball and she had pulled a muscle or was just sore. But right when the vet saw her he said, “We need to run some tests.” He took her blood and we waited. Three days later he told us she had Canine Leishmaniasis.
            I got on Google: “… is very serious and infectious. It is difficult to diagnose, difficult to treat and the outcome is rarely good.” Our vet told us Paraguayans put their dogs down immediately when they have this. But, he said, “Luque is very strong and I would like to try to treat her if you want.” Of course, we wanted. Even though we had only had her for three months, she was already our family.
            But, it was not easy. We had to wait for the medicine from Spain (since it is illegal to purchase in Paraguay—dog control, I suppose). Then we had to administer a shot in her neck every day for 30 days. We cooked her steak (it was actually cheaper to feed her steak than dog food) and rice and we watched her slowly gain weight and become more lively.
        Our vet ran the tests again and it came back negative.

Luque is one of very few dogs out there that can say she survived Leishmaniasis! I guess that’s why she feels entitled to every toy in the store.

          In order to buy liquor in Dubai, you must apply for a liquor license. This is accomplished by receiving a no-objection letter from your employer. If you are a wife who does not work you need to submit your husband’s no-objection letter. You must also provide: documentation stating what religion you are, passport, visa, work contract, 2 passport photos and a fee.
            Once you have procured a license—which is a small booklet—you are advised to carry it with you at all times. Any time you buy alcohol it is documented in the license and you are monitored so as not to spend more than 20% of your monthly income on alcohol. That would have equaled about $1140 per month for me.
            However, I didn’t have to go through all that. Because I lived in what was considered the "Wild West". Ras Al Khaimah did not require a license. And it is home to Barracuda; the largest liquor store I have ever seen in my life--two rooms full of wine from all around the world. (Barracuda is actually in Umm Al Quwain--the Emirate just South of Ras Al Khaimah).
             Many expats from Dubai would make the 35 minute drive north to purchase their monthly libations. There was only one catch to this: driving through the Emirate of Sharjah. Sharjah is a completely dry Emirate and even having alcohol in your trunk could land you in jail if caught. Visiting Barracuda just before Ramadan was like Black Friday; you could wait up to an hour to pay for your shopping carts full of booze!
               We did have three other options in Ras Al Khaimah and it was the most intriguing one that I brought my parents and sister to when they were visiting. Located in the back alleyway behind Spinneys, it always felt like something out of Prohibition Era slipping around back to purchase your whiskey. Mom was clearly nervous as I led her up the stairs to the steel-handled unmarked door in the back corner outside the local grocery store. Her gasp was audible as I pushed the door open to reveal a liquor-stocked room full of smiling Indians waiting in line to pay for their hard earned 40.
                We made our way to the labeled Wine Room and I had to chuckle as mom declared, “Look, they even have Gallo!” Gallo Wine; recognizable even in the Middle East!  

From the back alley of Spinneys in Al Hamra. They have since added the sign "Beverages" since I took my mom there!

Back in something like the 1st Century, King Kasyapa chose this site in Sri Lanka as his capital. His palace was built on the top of this rock, Sigiriya and he had constructed a gateway in the form of a large lion about half way up. We spent the day hiking up....and up....and up and were awarded with an incredible view of the Central region of Sri Lanka.

The gateway to the palace at the base of the Lion's feet.

Just starting our ascent. The grounds below were the site of many pools where the maidens would bathe.

Of course, our reward at the end was a well-earned Lion Lager!

         Upon arriving in the UAE, I wanted to learn and know everything. Some things are just not appropriate to ask though. And who would I ask what was under those kanduras anyways?
        The men of the UAE wear these blindingly white man dresses, most of the time referred to as kanduras but sometimes called dishdashas or thobes. I was immediately curious as to what was worn underneath. Boxers or briefs? And admit it; you are too. Otherwise you would have quit reading by now.
Thankfully, I fell into friendship with a British woman who was also curious and who made it her quest to find out. It only took about three weeks until she relayed her findings.
“Cheers Lisa.”
“Hey Lorraine.” I just never could get in to the British “cheers” greeting.
Lorraine pulled her chair up to the table and whispered dramatically, “Well, I know.”
“Know what?”
“What’s under those dresses?”
“No. You didn’t. What’d you do?” I don’t know if I was more shocked that she knew or that she must have actually had physical contact with one of these unattainable white-robed men.
“Oh, yes I did. I found out.”
“And…”
“Well, they don’t wear boxers.” She paused and winked at me, then continued,  “And they don’t wear briefs.”
“What? Nothing? You’re joking?”
“Nope. Nada. Nothing. Commando.” She emphatically shook her head back and forth with every word.
            “Holy crap. How’d you find out? Never mind, I don’t want to know,” I laughed. “But really. How do you know?”
            “So, you remember Khalid from the other night?” She looked around as if we were on a covert mission and relaying highly dangerous information.
            “The Emirati who was buying beer for all of us?”
            “Yes, that one. Turns out he wanted to have a little fun.”
            “Oh, my gosh. I don’t want to hear this,” I mockingly covered my ears.
            But she continued, “Oh, I’ll spare you the details.”
            “Just tell me about the kandura.”
            “Well, when the long dress is off, there is actually another cloth under there.”
            “What?”
            “Yeah, it’s just wrapped around their waist.”
            “Like a skirt?”
            “Yeah, like a wraparound skirt.”
            “Well, that makes sense, because you can see a second layer under there that usually stops around their shins,” not that I had really checked it out. Ok, I had.
            “Yup, and then when they unwrap that….nothing.”
            “Ah, man.”
            Upon further reading, I knew what Lorraine said was accurate. The lower garment that is typically worn wrapped underneath the starch-white kandura is called an izaar. And under that, not a lot. Ends up, I learned several things about the Emirati men through Lorraine’s many escapades.
 
 
 

I have always been curious by the unexplained and get a certain thrill when a new horror movie comes out. So imagine my delight when I learned that the village I lived in in Ras Al Khaimah was built upon an old abandoned fishing village that carried with it the mystery of the Jinn. In Islamic theology, the Jinn are demonic entities. 
My Emirati students would look at me with intrigue in their eyes when I told them I lived in Al Hamra. They would whisper and I would always catch the last word “…jinn.”
But it gets even better.
While I was living there, the movie Djinn was released. This was not just a backyard movie that was made, but was directed by Tobe Hooper. You know him from his direction of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The story is of a young Emirati couple that return from the United States to live in Al Hamra, where the malevolent Jinn invade their lives. You can watch the trailer here: (watch the entire thing; it is in English)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOj40HC5R1s
Of course, no one that lived in Al Hamra would go with me to watch it; so I went alone. And then returned to my apartment that was very much like the one depicted in the movie. No, nothing happened.
 
Another insight to the world of the Jinn is in the book Alif the Unseen. I read this before arriving in the Emirates and it is absolutely wonderful. It follows a young man who has uncovered the secret book of the Jinn--The Thousand and One Days—and he is forced to go underground to struggle for life and death with both seen and unseen forces. If you liked Harry Potter, this is the Arabic version of magic and quests.